We do our best to bring you the worst!

Phone Boobs

I hope they make a new one for the iPhone5.

Outrageously Expensive Candle

Yeah, it's comic sans. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?

Corn Stripper

Not as cool as you'd think

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get some Chickenbone Chicken Poop Lip Junk

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Fresh Whole Rabbit

"Happy Easter kids! I finally caught that son of a bitch who leaves those shitty plastic eggs all over the yard!"

Fresh Whole Rabbit

Instant Irish Accent Breath Spray


Top O' The Mornin' To Ya! I'm assuming this tastes like whiskey and vomit. 

Instant Irish Accent Breath Spray

Stonerware Ice Cube Tray


When your parents come to visit just tell them they're palm trees.


BodySox®


Life size chess seems like fun, so why not life size cornhole?





Knitting With Dog Hair


Just don't get it wet, it will smell awful.

Knitting With Dog Hair

How to Raise a Jewish Dog


They already usually have big noses...

How to Raise a Jewish Dog

Rifle Umbrella



Maybe the kids wouldn't have been such little bitches if ol' Poppins had one of these. Spoonful of shutthefuckup is more like it. Supercalifragilisticexpialifuckyou


Peter Pepper Red Hot Pepper Seeds


Seems like there should definitely be a "Do not stick in your vagina (or butthole)" warning.

Peter Pepper Red Hot Pepper Seeds

The Beginner's Guide to Sex in the Afterlife



 It's probably not much different than "Sex in the Married Life".


The Beginner's Guide to Sex in the Afterlife

Bulletproof Body Armor Clipboard


I hope you have really good reflexes.


Bulletproof Body Armor Clipboard

Litter House



I guess cats forgot about shitting where you live.

Litter House

Pocket Chainsaw


 Just be careful playing pocket pool.

Pocket Chainsaw

Grass Flip-Flops


Maybe I'm weird, but I wear flip-flops so my feet aren't in the grass.

Grass Flip-Flops

iPhone Amplifying Horn

Is there anything worse than hipsters? Oh, right, hipsters with iPhones.


iPhone Amplifying Horn

Money Soap


At least the stripper asshole will be cleaned off of it.

Money Soap

Cigarette Pencils


Now you can combine your addictive love for cigarettes with your love of chewing on pencils.

Cigarette Pencils

Retard Johny





The 70s were a different time.

Retard Johnny

The Return of The Tiger: Walking on Water


A river of whore tears...

Make Your Own Dildo Kit


It's hard enough getting someone to use my dick and I don't think it needs a twin.


How to Pee Standing Up: Tips for Hip Chicks

Emergency Shart Kit

Where were you last weekend, Emergency Shart Kit?

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