Yes, you read that right, Electro Butt Plug. Who buys this stuff? One of you guys apparently... I'm not going to name names (because I can't see who bought it) but someone who was browsing our site jumped on to Amazon to snatch-up one of these bad boys (albeit a slightly smaller one than linked here, have to show some restraint I guess). Now, I don't understand butt plugs, ( I swear I don't : | ) it just doesn't seem comfortable (at all). But to then add electricity to said butt plug adds another level of insanity. So, whoever it was out there that bought this, we salute you. Just please don't use this in the bath/shower, we want you around to buy more expensive butt plugs from us.
Do you not feel like enough of an attention whore? Boy oh boy do we have the thing for you. Winkers are pants that have eyes on them, so you can use your fat ass to wink at people staring at your fat ass. Maybe the best part is you can't actually buy jeans from them, you have to send them jeans to ruin paint their trade mark winkers on. My personal favorite has to be the ducks (and my favorite part of the ducks is the "quack!") because when I'm staring at a chicks ass all I usually think about is ducks.
Putting a vacuum cleaner at the end of some barbering tools sounds like an awesome idea. Hair is gross, even if it just came off your own head, so who would want it all over their floor? What's not a great idea? Trying to make a kit to cut your own damn hair. Let's face it unless you are shaving your head it isn't going to look good. And by good I mean when you walk down the street someone doesn't say, "Holy shit, that guy cuts his own hair." The guy that invented today's product, The Flowbee, has somehow convinced over 2 million people that they can do their own hair at home and make it look good. Those two million people were hoping for their haircuts to come out awesome, as seen below:
1,999,999 of those haircuts came out like this:
"Well, back to doing meth"
Oh, and did I mention this thing is over $100 bucks?
Did you and your kids enjoy your trip through airport
security last summer on your way to Grandmas? Now your family can
re-create the non-stop fun of the TSA attempting to pat down little Cindy at
home with the Playmobil
Security Check Point. Your kids will have hours of laughs racially profiling
other toys while Barbie looks on in fear of the inevitable strip search.
Don't make your kids declare jihad on you, buy them the Playmobil
Security Check Point today!
That's right, a sex toy for your dog. It comes in white or black and can be yours for only $200! So, if you are over humped legs, inanimate objects and other real dogs, this might just be the thing for your pooch. Just be careful it doesn't turn into a Lars and the Real Girl type of situation.