Uh oh, hide your wallets it looks like one of our favorite designers Kiki de Montparnasse (Dildo Chess) is at it again. Now we have a tiny votive candle (hey shutup, everyone knows what that is, right?) with an aphrodisiac-based fragrance for only $65.
You know what’s a better aphrodisiac than a $65 Boudoir Candle? 47 fish sandwiches, a box of fine wine, and a copy of Ghost from the $5 bin at Walmart.
Sensual Chess, just so you know, that's a classy way of saying dildo chess. The most exciting aspect of this chess set, other than the complimentary gift wrapping they include in the $10,000 price tag, is that when one of your chess pieces gets taken you have to shove it up your ass. Really though it's a good thing they made them all into dildos because with an old chess set and these new rules the knight would be terrifying, but the rook on the other hand...
Are you hard up for some cock fighting but disappointed that it's illegal in your country? Well you're in luck because this world is full of progressive forward thinking geniuses. The Inflatable Cock Fighting Set finally answers the question of why the chicken crossed the road. To fight the other cock.
Yes, you read that right, Electro Butt Plug. Who buys this stuff? One of you guys apparently... I'm not going to name names (because I can't see who bought it) but someone who was browsing our site jumped on to Amazon to snatch-up one of these bad boys (albeit a slightly smaller one than linked here, have to show some restraint I guess). Now, I don't understand butt plugs, ( I swear I don't : | ) it just doesn't seem comfortable (at all). But to then add electricity to said butt plug adds another level of insanity. So, whoever it was out there that bought this, we salute you. Just please don't use this in the bath/shower, we want you around to buy more expensive butt plugs from us.
Do you love America? If you’re like me the answer to that question was an astounding YES! Well this 4th of July let everyone know how awesome our nation really is with these sunglasses. These glasses tell the world: 1) I’m a God damn American; 2) I am blind in my left eye; and 3) Alaska and Hawaii don’t mean jack to me. Now some might say the $208.00 (American dollar) price tag is steep. But this American patriot would be willing to spend at least $1,776.00 to show the world that although the Chinese made these glasses, I bleed RED, WHITE, and BLUE!
Sex with a midget little person, Who hasn't thought about it at least once? Don't lie. Well, now you can make that dream a reality thanks to Pipedream Products and their "Meme" The Midget Love Doll. At first we thought this was a joke, but at least 2 of the 6 reviews for this product seem real and both reviewers complain about the same things. If you're looking to have yourself a little fun you'd better buy one before they sell out. Be warned though, some harmless midget doll bangin' might turn into a conviction for pedophilia, so we suggest just sticking with the Sex in Her Shitty Blow Up Doll.