Peter Pepper Red Hot Pepper Seeds

Seems like there should definitely be a "Do not stick in your vagina (or butthole)" warning.

Peter Pepper Red Hot Pepper Seeds

The Beginner's Guide to Sex in the Afterlife

 It's probably not much different than "Sex in the Married Life".

The Beginner's Guide to Sex in the Afterlife

Make Your Own Dildo Kit

It's hard enough getting someone to use my dick and I don't think it needs a twin.

Make Your Own Dildo Kit

Vibrating Snake

Vibrating snake you say? 

Vibrating Snake

Cum Wad Pants

Now women don't even have to dance with me at clubs to get this look.

Cum Wad Pants

Man to Man: Gay Attraction Body Mist

Damn! No longer available! 

Man to Man : Gay Attraction Body Mist

Lubricant Launcher

Unfortunately a Lube Launcher is a device to inject lube into orifices in preparation for sex not a new military super weapon to make enemies too slippery to mobilize.

Lubricant Launcher

Tenga Egg

Jack off eggs. You can't make this stuff up people.

"Get different strokes from different yolks"

Tenga Egg

Ooops!!! My Wang Fell Out Penis T-Shirt

My goal would be to wear this shirt enough so I can just have my dick out and no one would be the wiser. 

No one would be the wiser anyway :(

Ooops!!! My Wang Fell Out Mens Penis T-Shirt

Jumpin Jammerz

I've always wondered where this guy got his PJ's. 

Jumpin Jammerz

Silver Blue Space Age Vagina Ring

Silver Blue Space Age Vagina Ring

"This ring has an awesome vagina shape with an icy blue center, jagged and frosted like an arctic landscape."

Sounds like my wife, Hey-oh!

Dick & Balls Mask

This Dick and Balls Penis Mask is hard to look at.

Outrageously Expensive Candle

Uh oh, hide your wallets it looks like one of our favorite designers Kiki de Montparnasse (Dildo Chess) is at it again. Now we have a tiny votive candle (hey shutup, everyone knows what that is, right?) with an aphrodisiac-based fragrance for only $65.

You know what’s a better aphrodisiac than a $65 Boudoir Candle? 47 fish sandwiches, a box of fine wine, and a copy of Ghost from the $5 bin at Walmart.

I Heart Pasta Apron

Let your man know you're ready to "bake" his noodle.

Sensual Chess Board

Sensual Chess, just so you know, that's a classy way of saying dildo chess. The most exciting aspect of this chess set, other than the complimentary gift wrapping they include in the $10,000 price tag, is that when one of your chess pieces gets taken you have to shove it up your ass. Really though it's a good thing they made them all into dildos because with an old chess set and these new rules the knight would be terrifying, but the rook on the other hand... 

Queen's bishop to A55

Pornogami - Oragami for Adults

Pornogami, learn this ancient skill if you never want to see the real thing.

Inflatable Cock Fighting Set

Are you hard up for some cock fighting but disappointed that it's illegal in your country? Well you're in luck because this world is full of progressive forward thinking geniuses. The Inflatable Cock Fighting Set finally answers the question of why the chicken crossed the road. To fight the other cock.

Sadly for our US visitors Amazon seems to be sold out, but if you're in the UK you're in luck.

ElectraStim Intimidator Electro Butt Plug

Yes, you read that right, Electro Butt Plug. Who buys this stuff? One of you guys apparently... I'm not going to name names (because I can't see who bought it) but someone who was browsing our site jumped on to Amazon to snatch-up one of these bad boys (albeit a slightly smaller one than linked here, have to show some restraint I guess). Now, I don't understand butt plugs, ( I swear I don't : | ) it just doesn't seem comfortable (at all). But to then add electricity to said butt plug adds another level of insanity. So, whoever it was out there that bought this, we salute you. Just please don't use this in the bath/shower, we want you around to buy more expensive butt plugs from us.

Mr-S-Leather ElectraStim Intimidator Electro Butt Plug

America Sunglasses

Do you love America? If you’re like me the answer to that question was an astounding YES! Well this 4th of July let everyone know how awesome our nation really is with these sunglasses. These glasses tell the world: 1) I’m a God damn American; 2) I am blind in my left eye; and 3) Alaska and Hawaii don’t mean jack to me. Now some might say the $208.00 (American dollar) price tag is steep. But this American patriot would be willing to spend at least $1,776.00 to show the world that although the Chinese made these glasses, I bleed RED, WHITE, and BLUE!

Midget Blowup Doll

Sex with a midget little person, Who hasn't thought about it at least once? Don't lie. Well, now you can make that dream a reality thanks to Pipedream Products and their "Meme" The Midget Love Doll. At first we thought this was a joke, but at least 2 of the 6 reviews for this product seem real and both reviewers complain about the same things. If you're looking to have yourself a little fun you'd better buy one before they sell out. Be warned though, some harmless midget doll bangin' might turn into a conviction for pedophilia, so we suggest just sticking with the Sex in Her Shitty Blow Up Doll.