I don't get it. You save your breast milk in a locket, which was part of you, to remember your baby? Couldn't you just look down (at your tits, just in case that wasn't clear)? Wouldn't this "make more sense" to give your child so they have a part of you? And by make more sense, I mean... I don't know what I mean because this is fucking weird.
This is definitely one of the dumber things we have written about on WBTS. Don't get me wrong, we have written about some dumb things (Electro Butt Plug? Really?). The reason I think it is so absurd is because I can picture the exact people that would buy this, and they are terrible. As a father of a girl myself, people will assume (we know what assuming leads to) one way or the other whether my child is a boy or a girl. Sure it's annoying when people guess what she is, because it's really easy to just ask. I'm not going to be offended that you can't tell what gender my baby is because she is dressed in green, just ask. There is no need for me to put fake hair on my baby's head to show off she's a girl. Maybe this is why I think this is so dumb, because I wouldn't let something like this ruin my day. There are two types of people in my opinion that would buy something like this for their child; girls that should be on 16 and pregnant and women who think Toddlers & Tiaras deserves an Emmy. In other words, terrible, terrible people. Next thing you know these people are going to be clamoring (ehh??ehh??) for baby merkins.
Using our underdeveloped sense of humor and willingness to make an easy joke crack detective skills we've discovered the unoffical sequel to the beloved Dr. Suess classic Hop on Pop. The Night Dad Went to Jail appears to be a charming story about a rabbit who's dad goes to jail for illegal fishing (that's what the therapist will later tell the kids) and how he copes afterwards. Too bad this book didn't exist when I was a kid.
With the 2012 Summer Olympic Games in London fast approaching I am getting super excited to drape myself in the American Flag. I mean how many times do shot putters (shout-out to curling for the winter games too) get to strut their stuff and actually have people watch them, let alone root for them? Only when people want to shove their medals in shitty countries faces.
Are you a shitty parent? Does your kid cry all the time and you don't want to take the time to find out why? Boy do we have the thing for you. The Why Cry Baby Analyzer promises to "interpret the various reasons for why your baby cries and displays the answer on an easy to ready LCD screen." Call it a hunch, but I feel like this product would have a little more notoriety if it worked. I actually think they just took a Tamagotchi and put a babies face on it. "Oh, there's poop on the screen, better changer it now. Thank you Tamagotchi
Why Cry Baby Analyzer! If it wasn't for you I would have to figure out what's wrong with my kid!"