Grass Flip-Flops

Maybe I'm weird, but I wear flip-flops so my feet aren't in the grass.

Grass Flip-Flops

Cum Wad Pants

Now women don't even have to dance with me at clubs to get this look.

Cum Wad Pants

Stashitware

The slogan is "Our underwear's secret pockets are a pickpocket's worst nightmare". That's funny because my underwear is pretty much anyone's worst nightmare.

Stashitware

Short Belt

This website says they are "Trendy & Fashionable" What's more trendy and fashionable than having one side of your pants bunched up?

Short Belt

Ooops!!! My Wang Fell Out Penis T-Shirt

My goal would be to wear this shirt enough so I can just have my dick out and no one would be the wiser. 

No one would be the wiser anyway :(

Ooops!!! My Wang Fell Out Mens Penis T-Shirt

Paparazzi Shades

If you are the type of person that wears these, you need them, because you look like a dick.

Paparazzi Shades

Jumpin Jammerz

I've always wondered where this guy got his PJ's. 

Jumpin Jammerz

"I'm Only Here For The Turkey Legs" Shirt

This shirt should only been worn when going to Disney world. It should also be the only shirt worn when going to Disney World 

I'm Only Here For The Turkey Legs

Genuine Kangaroo Scrotum

I'd give my right nut for one of these...

America Sunglasses

Do you love America? If you’re like me the answer to that question was an astounding YES! Well this 4th of July let everyone know how awesome our nation really is with these sunglasses. These glasses tell the world: 1) I’m a God damn American; 2) I am blind in my left eye; and 3) Alaska and Hawaii don’t mean jack to me. Now some might say the $208.00 (American dollar) price tag is steep. But this American patriot would be willing to spend at least $1,776.00 to show the world that although the Chinese made these glasses, I bleed RED, WHITE, and BLUE!

Winkers

Do you not feel like enough of an attention whore? Boy oh boy do we have the thing for you. Winkers are pants that have eyes on them, so you can use your fat ass to wink at people staring at your fat ass. Maybe the best part is you can't actually buy jeans from them, you have to send them jeans to ruin paint their trade mark winkers on. My personal favorite has to be the ducks (and my favorite part of the ducks is the "quack!") because when I'm staring at a chicks ass all I usually think about is ducks.

Winkers

p.s.

Here is another pair of jeans for when they ruin yours: sorry about your pants

p.p.s.

Holy shit, I just went to the "order" page so I would be able to put in the price range for these. Do yourself a favor and check out how much it costs to destroy winker your favorite pants

Tiddy Bear - Snuggle Strap

Tiddy Bear, so much more than just a clever name! We here at WhoBuysThisStuff.com love posting products that make women's lives better and easier (especially when it also can help us men) and that is why we are featuring the Tiddy Bear today. It is a cute fluffy little bear that "makes wearing seatbelts more comfortable to all drivers and passengers". According to Tiddybearcomfortstrap.com this is a great product for women, men, and children, which we find rather surprising when you consider the fact that you would be seen driving around in public with a little bear motorboating you. Maybe we're just jealous of tiddy bear because it's clear who the real winner here is.

So cheers to you, Tiddy Bear, you motorboatin' son of a bitch.

Just Married Flip Flops

When they (who is they? Jesus?) said leave only footprints I don't think they (he?) had these in mind. I imagine the person who bought these was just whisked away for their fabulous honeymoon in a 3rd world country that has a nice tourist area with a sweet beach. These flip flops scream, "Hey look! We just got married and brought a ton of cash with us on our special trip, follow us!". So if you want to enjoy your honeymoon held up at knife point in a shack in Mexico these Just Married Flip Flops are just what you're looking for.

Sauna Pants

"Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt. It is so big. [scoff] She looks like, one of those rap guys' girlfriends."

Well not anymore, thanks to Sauna Pants! For the mere price of $39.97 you can shed that excess junk from your trunk. You just better hope you don't see Sir Mix-A-Lot (was he actually knighted?) around town because we all know his feelings towards not having buns hun (something about a snake).

Sauna Pants

Real Moving Rorschach Inkblot Masks

For today's feature we have the Real Moving Rorschach Inkblot Mask which was sent in by a reader that calls himself Grafixfan. Thanks for opening my eyes the pinnacle of human achievement Grafixfan. These masks use a heat sensitive ink that lightens and darkens based on how you direct your breath in the mask. Sounds awesome right? Except that feeling your own breath inside of a mask would get awfully hot and sticky in about 30 seconds. Remember how awesome that Halloween mask you got when you were 10 was for the first 10 minutes. Actually in reality, it's a shame we have to be so negative about everything we review on this site because I would totally buy this if I wanted to alienate all my friends.

Thanks again Grafixfan, we will wear these to your house when we stalk you.

Real Moving Rorschach Inkblot Mask

Flexi-Mat Corp Pet Pocket

Was it always your dream when you grew up to get a cool dog? To run on the beach and throw toys in the water for a golden retriever? To have a dog that would be loyal and a good friend until the end...


Do you feel like an a-hole for letting your wife talk you into buying that chihuahua?  If you already went that far you might as well look like a bigger jackass and get yourself one of these. The Flexi-Mat Corp Pet Pocket could be just the thing for your new life as a whipping boy. Maybe next time you will tell your wife to get back in the kitchen where she belongs. Seriously though, you look like a kanagroo... stop it.

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 )    \\   Flexi-Mat Corp Pet Pocket

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The Daddle

I'd like to introduce you to the new toy that is galloping (get it?) into the hearts and minds of America. The Daddle! Now you don't even have to wait until the teenage years for your child to show you that you're not good for anything but a ride. It can't be that bad right? Just remember to smile and act like you're enjoying it while the shove their spurs in your sides for the rest of your life.

* The Daddle *

On a side note, I can't wait till they come out with the Mommle. Amiright?

All-Star Jerseys

Adult men wearing jerseys can be a point of contention. Let's be honest, if you see a guy walking down the street or down the deodorant isle in the Walmart, you probably think to yourself, "what a douche". As an avid sports fan I wear them myself and I feel it's okay in certain situations; at sporting events, having people over for a game-watching party, going to a bar to watch a game with buddies. One time it's never okay to wear a jersey? When it's an all-star version. Seriously, who buys these things? It must be somebody because the leagues keep selling them.

Genuine Squirrel Underpants

Do you own a pet squirrel? Yes. 

Does it need underwear? Hell Yes! 

Squirrel Underpants come with an elastic 9" waist for which the description says "for squirrels they're pretty much one-size-fits-all. (Will also fit most guinea pigs but are probably over-sized for the average gerbil.)" sorry Richard Gere =(.  Rated 4 Stars.

 Squirrel Underpants