iPhone Amplifying Horn

Is there anything worse than hipsters? Oh, right, hipsters with iPhones.

iPhone Amplifying Horn

NoPoPo Eco Water-powered AA Batteries

I think I'd rather just buy new batteries instead of peeing into them, just sayin'. 

NoPoPo Eco Water-powered AA Batteries

Two and a Half Men

Can we be real for a minute here? This show sucks, it sucked with Charlie Sheen and now, somehow, it's still on the air with Ashton Kutcher. In the words of Sam Jackson, "Wake the F#%k up!"

Edit: Turns out the kid from the show agrees with us

Two and a Half Men

USB Desktop Aquarium

Take goldfish to your office and show them what boring really is.

USB Desktop Aquarium

Beer Pager

I suppose I just care about my beer to much to lose it.

Beer Pager

UFO Detector

If Giorgio Tsoukalos is on your holiday gift list, we've got you covered. 

UFO Detector

DVD Rewinder

Do people even remember why this is funny? Do people even remember what DVD's were? 

DVD Rewinder

Love Songs for the Retarded

Hey I have an idea. Let's create the most offensive band/album combo ever. Oh, and just in case you are an uber fan, you can buy the original recording from 1993 for the tidy sum of $1,195.00.

Love Songs for the Retarded

Useless Box

Finally a product we can get behind. The Useless Box is a marvel of modern ingenuity. It's hard not to draw parallels to our own work here at WBTS. A box that only exists to shut itself off and a website that should do the same. Finally a product we can get behind. The Useless Box is a marvel of modern ingenuity. It's hard not to draw parallels to our own work here at WBTS. A box that only exists to shut itself off and a website that should do the same. Finally a product we can get behind. The Useless Box is a marvel of modern ingenuity. It's hard not to draw parallels to our own work here at WBTS. A box that only exists to shut itself off and a website that should do the same. Finally a product we can get behind. The Useless Box is a marvel of modern ingenuity. It's hard not to draw parallels to our own work here at WBTS. A box that only exists to shut itself off and a website that should do the same.

Useless Box

ElectraStim Intimidator Electro Butt Plug

Yes, you read that right, Electro Butt Plug. Who buys this stuff? One of you guys apparently... I'm not going to name names (because I can't see who bought it) but someone who was browsing our site jumped on to Amazon to snatch-up one of these bad boys (albeit a slightly smaller one than linked here, have to show some restraint I guess). Now, I don't understand butt plugs, ( I swear I don't : | ) it just doesn't seem comfortable (at all). But to then add electricity to said butt plug adds another level of insanity. So, whoever it was out there that bought this, we salute you. Just please don't use this in the bath/shower, we want you around to buy more expensive butt plugs from us.

Mr-S-Leather ElectraStim Intimidator Electro Butt Plug

80s Retro iPhone Case

We here at WBTS are always trying to broaden our horizons. Today we add an African Americans perspective with contributing editor Julian. Read on, especially because it's better than anything we've written in a while...

What was it that made Zack Morris so cool? Was it his fancy ‘90s style threads? Perhaps it was his handsome face and charming wit, or even possibly his loyalties to his friends and the hallowed halls of Bayside High? FUCK NO! We all know it was because he had a big ass phone and he wasn’t afraid to use it (in class). Well you know what they say about guys with big cell phones. No? Well you will now if you buy this awesome iphone case. Comfort and portability be damned, you’ve got people to impress with your sense of humor and disposable income.

80s Retro iPhone Case

Why Cry Baby Analyzer

Are you a shitty parent? Does your kid cry all the time and you don't want to take the time to find out why? Boy do we have the thing for you. The Why Cry Baby Analyzer promises to "interpret the various reasons for why your baby cries and displays the answer on an easy to ready LCD screen." Call it a hunch, but I feel like this product would have a little more notoriety if it worked. I actually think they just took a Tamagotchi and put a babies face on it. "Oh, there's poop on the screen, better changer it now. Thank you Tamagotchi Why Cry Baby Analyzer! If it wasn't for you I would have to figure out what's wrong with my kid!"

Phoneboobs

What's better than having a pair of silicon nuts on your iPhone? How about a pair of silicon tits, amiright? If you're anything like us you're lucky because hot on the heels of the ever successful Phoneballs comes iBoobies. Thanks to iBoobies you can turn any call into a "titillating" experience. Now that we have Phoneballs, iBoobies, and the Booty Call we can't wait for someone to come out with a case that looks like a giant dick!

Phone Boobs

Christian Dubstep

Then God said: Let the bass drop.

Up until the moment the staff at WhoBuysThisStuff.com heard Christian Dubstep we were devoted Christians (God's favorite website I've even heard them say). Unfortunately that all changed once this vile, poorly produced, and terrible sounding music was heard in our offices. If there really was a God there is no way she would let this kind of thing be made in her name, right?. The only good thing to come of this is that now our atheist friends have something to listen to when they devour small children as chanting during the feast was very difficult.

Lucky for you all a reviewer named Maus provided a text version of all the songs so you don't even have to listen to them: "I wub wub wub wub wub god. I wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub jesus. Jesus wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wubs me. Cant we all just wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub along? "

Throwback Friday: Phone dumbell

Herro? Anyone here for Throwback Friday? If so, check out this bad boy. I can't find any proof of this ever actually existing outside of this photo and believe me, I did extensive research (wikipedia and google ((the first page of google))). Can you imagine if they gave these things to kids these days? We would have a bunch of freaks walking around looking like this \/

I fucking love the phone dumbell

Don't worry however, I have found a way to make this happen even in this day and age. Just take your cell phone, buy this and this and go to work. The best part? You can get different colors and patterns, if you're into that sort of thing.

Phoneballs

Do you need to show everyone how big of an asshole you are but you're too much of a hipster to own a truck? Well Phoneballs.com has the solution for you. They've taken a regular silicon iPhone case and added a pair of nuts to it. Phoneballs cum (see what I did there?) in multiple colors and are available for the iPhone 3G and iPhone 4.

Kymera Magic Wand Remote Control

This gem is the Kymera Magic Wand Remote Control which is an infrared remote control that "Can learn 13 infrared remote control codes and replay them at your command with 13 easy to learn gestures" I imagine this would be a big hit for about 30 seconds until you realized you could've spent a little more money and just got a Wii. It's rated 4 stars on Amazon so maybe I don't know a good deal when its waved in my face.

☼  Kymera Magic Wand Remote  ☼