Fresh Whole Rabbit

"Happy Easter kids! I finally caught that son of a bitch who leaves those shitty plastic eggs all over the yard!"

Fresh Whole Rabbit

Stonerware Ice Cube Tray

When your parents come to visit just tell them they're palm trees.

Stonerware Ice Cube Tray

Peter Pepper Red Hot Pepper Seeds

Seems like there should definitely be a "Do not stick in your vagina (or butthole)" warning.

Peter Pepper Red Hot Pepper Seeds

Milk. Mom. Baby. Breast Milk Locket

I don't get it. You save your breast milk in a locket, which was part of you, to remember your baby? Couldn't you just look down (at your tits, just in case that wasn't clear)? Wouldn't this "make more sense" to give your child so they have a part of you? And by make more sense, I mean... I don't know what I mean because this is fucking weird.

Milk. Mom. Baby.

AeroShots

Don't forget you took this before you get to the office in the morning and have your 1st cup of joe or you might be able to smell sounds.

AeroShot

Chicken 'N Waffles Syrup

Now all you white people don't have to go into that "scary" neighborhood for Chicken 'N Waffles.

Chicken 'N Waffles Syrup

Motorized Ice Cream Cone

Whoever invented this is the laziest person on the planet.

Motorized Ice Cream Cone

Tenga Egg

Jack off eggs. You can't make this stuff up people.

"Get different strokes from different yolks"

Tenga Egg

Wheelmate

How long till those buzzkills in California make this illegal too?

Wheelmate

Titanium Straw

Why add straws to the list of things that I have to clean after inappropriately long intervals?

http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/kitchen/e59c/?cpg=cj&ref=&CJURL=&CJID=3490673

Beer Pager

I suppose I just care about my beer to much to lose it.

Beer Pager

The Original Road Kill Cookbook

Check it out, Honey Boo Boo's mom wrote a cook book.

Canned Unicorn Meat

You know what? Of course this is stupid and fake (orly?) but people still buy it. People have spent money their on this. I have a business model for anyone enterprising enough. Buy this, get your printer fired up, and undercut other people selling Canned Unicorn Meat on amazon for say, $8.99. You could make like $3-4 bucks (depending on how much you value your labor, it wouldn't make sense for me (because my time is so valuable) which is why I put it on the internet for someone to steal) per can. Hell, maybe even expand your business later. Bigfoot Meat, Dragon Meat, Loch Ness Monster Meat (might have to take a loss on that selling for about three fidy) the possibilities are endless. 

Canned Unicorn Meat

"I'm Only Here For The Turkey Legs" Shirt

This shirt should only been worn when going to Disney world. It should also be the only shirt worn when going to Disney World 

I'm Only Here For The Turkey Legs

Fartless Chili

I'd call bullshit but I probably wouldn't be able to tell a difference regardless.  

Fartless Chili

Social Sphere Bubble

The Social Sphere, because when I go to a bar I want to pretend I stayed home. 

Spike Your Juice

Spike Your Juice

Now you don''t even have to go to jail to enjoy pruno.

Ham Dogger

I guess the question is why? The Ham Dogger's description claims that its pleases both hamburger and hot dog lovers, but that is kind of like trying to please both car lovers and bicycle lovers with a pedal car. It's retarded.

Good Grips Corn Stripper

The name alone made us think that somehow someone had created the perfect combination of our favorite things (strippers and food), but as usual we were unfortunately let down. Sadly, the Corn Stripper is nothing more than a tool to strip the kernels from the ear, because apparently just using a knife proves to be too difficult for some people.

I Heart Pasta Apron

Let your man know you're ready to "bake" his noodle.