Instant Irish Accent Breath Spray

Top O' The Mornin' To Ya! I'm assuming this tastes like whiskey and vomit. 

Instant Irish Accent Breath Spray

Stonerware Ice Cube Tray

When your parents come to visit just tell them they're palm trees.

Stonerware Ice Cube Tray

BodySox®

Life size chess seems like fun, so why not life size cornhole?

BodySox®

Rifle Umbrella

Maybe the kids wouldn't have been such little bitches if ol' Poppins had one of these. Spoonful of shutthefuckup is more like it. Supercalifragilisticexpialifuckyou

Rifle Umbrella

iPhone Amplifying Horn

Is there anything worse than hipsters? Oh, right, hipsters with iPhones.

iPhone Amplifying Horn

Money Soap

At least the stripper asshole will be cleaned off of it.

Money Soap

Cigarette Pencils

Now you can combine your addictive love for cigarettes with your love of chewing on pencils.

Cigarette Pencils

Make Your Own Dildo Kit

It's hard enough getting someone to use my dick and I don't think it needs a twin.

Make Your Own Dildo Kit

Emergency Shart Kit

Where were you last weekend, Emergency Shart Kit?

Luggage Scooter

Now you can look like a bigger asshole than a TSA agent.

Luggage Scooter

Cum Wad Pants

Now women don't even have to dance with me at clubs to get this look.

Cum Wad Pants

Cat Butt Magnet Set

Things like this are the exact reason I carry a couple Rear Gears on me wherever I go.

Cat Butt Magnet Set

Fetus soap

"What's more pure than a fetus?"

Touche Fetus Soap website

Fetus Soap

Man to Man: Gay Attraction Body Mist

Damn! No longer available! 

Man to Man : Gay Attraction Body Mist

Lubricant Launcher

Unfortunately a Lube Launcher is a device to inject lube into orifices in preparation for sex not a new military super weapon to make enemies too slippery to mobilize.

Lubricant Launcher

How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday

If nothing else at least it might help you good-bye pants shitting accidents.

How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday

Yoda Bong

Get high you will

Yoda Bong

Raccoon Canoeing Taxidermy Mount

Only $629.00? Who can pass on a deal like this?

Raccoon Canoeing Taxidermy Mount

Motorized Ice Cream Cone

Whoever invented this is the laziest person on the planet.

Motorized Ice Cream Cone

Bear Scratch

Wouldn't the corner it's mounted on work just as well?

Bear Scratch